I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
