I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize