Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
