So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
