I cannot find my penis.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
