just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize