I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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