But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize