So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
