I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
