I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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