Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just invented taco cereal.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
