I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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