I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
