I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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