Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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