every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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