im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
