She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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