How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
