But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wannas sexs uuuuu
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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