He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
