I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
