She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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