i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
