woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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