I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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