Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
