i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
