I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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