Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
