I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
