remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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