SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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