She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
