On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
