are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize