I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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