You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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