she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
