Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it's like iHOP with fire
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize