i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
