That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
