I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
