I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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