I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
