is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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