The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
