Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
