Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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