My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
it hurts more in the daytime
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
