WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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