if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
