It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I understand Curling. That high.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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