I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
