as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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