Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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