Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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