I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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