If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize