In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
