last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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