Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
