I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
